Another long blog post after a long time.
Shame ? YES.
The studies have been hard of me. Also, I have an incessant fear of Coordinate Geometry. Its worse that Dermatophobia (The fear of skin diseases) Which I have.
The GMAT date is taken. 27th September, yes.
Sounds like a happy day innit'? 27th is a happy date. It was the day I was born,
Thank you for the wishes.
Anyway,
I am uneasily virtually muttering and making this blog post redundant just like GMAT Verbal.
Its 1.03 am. I feel big knots in my tummy. Its the uncertain-excited-happy-sad feeling. Its slowly sinking in maybe? I was just talking to the boy about Next year.
Next Year. I might be going away to the other part of the world. Positively, Amreeka. I am currently in the second month of my GMAT Prep. I am horrendous with my math AND I'm not exaggerating.
But, I was horrendous in school when my comfort zone was Languages and Shakespeare and Poetic Emotions. I grew a little and started to enjoy what is out of my comfort zone. Today, I feel absolutely hypocritical when I confess, I like Mathematics. So yes, Out of the comfort zone is good :)
Talking about Comfort Zones, Mumbai is Number 1 on the list. Its Where the mother is, It is where the heart is. The Sea, the saline breeze, the bittersweet Monsoon, the city and its lights, long days, longer nights. Its beauty locationalized. Its the school and the college, the friends, love, the favorite yellow and black rikshaws, the hatred for rikshawallahs, Its everything that I want but not everything that I need.
Its the comfort zone and hence I shall leave,
I might leave,
I think I will?
Positively on a jet plane,
To a country far away.
But why?
I tell people I want to find myself. It sounds like a philosophical rambling.
It sounds so mysterious.
But I want to go to a place that I don't know and meet people who don't know me. I want a sabbatical of a short span. No, Im not running away. I want to be back. Maybe its soul searching? I want to know what makes me, me. I want to shatter the ego of my talents and build some ego on my insecurities.
I want to go into a group of amazing writers and realize how meek I am and go into a group of wonderful singers and feel little. I want to realize I can dance and probably scuba dive?
Its simple, its like a little girl who believes she's some things. She has a lot of friends and a lovely family who make her believe. She just wants to know whether its what she believes or whether its actually what it is. She wants to believe in herself and that is why just like I love math, after I got out there faced the hatred and developed my potential. I want to go out there, learn to face my potential and be everything that I think I can't while not changing anything I am. I want to be caring and emotional and chaotic just like I am but not to the same usual people. I want to see whether I am still caring and emotional and chaotic when I am alone? That's when I am really Caring and emotional and chaotic.
I want to experience and live and feel alive. I want to travel and meet new people and try thinking the thoughts they think. I probably want to live a little more? I want to be more and still be what I am?
Ps . I want to study Marketing.
Midnight ramblings shouldn't affect readers.
Its a channel I use ;)
Also, Sky diving into faith excites me (:
Much love,
And yes,
When I said I want to experience. No narcotic experience included. I don't do drugs. I am drugs *mandatory wannabe line* Hee
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